Closeted gay guy
ByRickClemons for YourTango.com
Emotional, physical, and intimate disconnects often direction to infidelity. So does hiding in the closet. But who's to criticize for the "hidden agenda?"
In my five years as The Coming Out Coach, I've worked with a little over 100 people from all walks of life, who have finally taken that brave step forward to be straightforward with themselves about their sexual orientation. In the moments right before coming out to a parent, sibling, friends or spouse and children, you might be thinking, "dead person walking." The person you have always presented to the world is about to be buried in the past, and the real person you contain always been is about to be birthed for a second time.
One of the most common reactions to hearing to someone's coming out is to accuse the person of being a liar, betray, and having no honesty. Rather than get up on my soapbox and unleash my wrath, I prefer to let them vent and then hush say, "What would you do if the tables were turned and organism a heterosexual was not the acceptable sexual orientation?" That usually stuns them into silence for approximately 3.5 seconds before the tired and true retort arises from their lips, "T
The Closet: Psychological Issues of Being In and Coming Out
In the jargon of contemporary homosexual culture, those who hide their sexual identities are referred to as either closeted or said to be in the closet. Revealing one's homosexuality is referred to as coming out. Clinical experience with gay patients reveals hiding and exposing behaviors to be psychologically complex.
Homosexual Identities
In the developmental histories of gay men and women, periods of difficulty in acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others, are often reported. Children who grow up to be gay rarely receive family support in dealing with antihomosexual prejudices. On the contrary, beginning in childhood--and distinguishing them from racial and ethnic minorities--gay people are often subjected to the antihomosexual attitudes of their own families and communities (Drescher et al., 2004). Antihomosexual attitudes comprise homophobia (Weinberg, 1972), heterosexism (Herek, 1984), moral condemnations of homosexuality (Drescher, 1998) and antigay violence (Herek and Berrill, 1992). Hiding activities learned in childhood often persist into new adulthood, middle age an
I’m a closeted gay man.
When I first typed that sentence, it felt wonderful. The more I looked at it on my screen, the less fine it felt. I desire the courage to delete the word “closeted” and to not confine my declaration to written words that will never be attributed to me by name.
I’m a closeted lgbtq+ man, but of a different sort. I’m attracted to other men – always have been – but I believe in a traditional view of marriage. And I’ve been an evangelical pastor for more than thirty years. Who knows, I might be your pastor.
Gays started using phrases like “coming out of the closet” in the 1960’s, the same decade when I was figuring out that I had this colossal problem that I did not want, did not understand, and that I had no one with whom to talk it over. I didn’t grasp the closet metaphor – I was ten, eleven, twelve in my period of self-discovery – but I knew I needed to put my attraction to other boys and the tingle they caused inside of me away, out of sight, out of anyone else's contact, behind other stuff.
My family’s sexual ethics contradicted godly wisdom in every way, but even in our house, I knew that boys being attracted to boys would be condemned and met with my father’s lea
How times have changed for LGBTQ … or include they?
There is no doubt that we possess seen an increase in acceptance of LGBTQ over the past two decades. I never thought in my lifetime that I would ever be approved for being an out gay man nor be able to legally join my husband of 28 years.
Of course, we still see people who are LGBTQ attacked by the culture at big for, of course, entity LGBTQ. Hate crimes are on the rise nationally and according to the Human Rights Campaign, “Hate crimes based on sexual orientation represent 16.7% of hate crimes, the third-largest category after race and religion.”
Source: I-Stock by Getty Credit: Tat'yana Mazitova
While acceptance of us LGBTQ folks have risen, I’ve been surprised at how people who are perceived to be closeted gays are being attacked for organism closeted!
I’ve been thinking about this ever since I filmed a video on TikTok, and expressed an unpopular view about how straight men can still enjoy sex with men.
I was surprised by all the comments I’m still getting from people who saw the video and assumed that I was either a closeted gay or bisexual dude. In reality, as a sex therapist and educator, I was sharing one of the ma
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