First gay experience advice
Advice for Your First Gay Date
Taking a right on Fletcher Cruise on the eastside of Los Angeles, there’s a billboard with two male figures under a caption that reads, “Sorry, This Is My First Moment Being Gay.” To this day, I have no clue what the billboard is advertising, but my friends and I quote it reflexively whenever we take Fletcher to the I-5. There is something both deeply relatable and incredibly nonsensical about that phrase. The anxiety and insecurity that comes with your first sexual homosexual encounter is universal in the queer community, and yet the idea that “being gay” is something that can be activated in a single moment is absurd.
Your first queer date, whether that be in high college or your late thirties, can feel daunting. At the time I started questioning my sexuality, I was working in the college library shelving books during the evening switch. As a hapless dork with anxiety, every moment I was in the “queer theory section” (which was expansive in my liberal arts school), I would sit on the floor and read through book after book in the hopes that some gay savvy would be absorbed through the words. I went down internet wormholes. I took every “
People are all too fast to pigeonhole bisexual and pansexual guys. Dating someone femme-presenting? You’re straight. Matchmaking app someone on the masculine side? Secretly gay and not ready to disclose it. Dating a agender person who presents androgynously? Also gay, probably.
The thing is, bi and pan (short for “pansexual”) guys exist – I understand, because I am one. These fundamental misconceptions swirl around mainstream gay scenes and straight spaces alike. I once had a threesome with two lgbtq+ German guys and afterwards one playfully referred to me as a “baby queer” – erm, no, I’m just as lgbtq+ as you mate; did you not notice when I was sucking your dick?
But let’s say you’re a guy who’s realised that, like me, you might not be totally straight – but you’ve only ever been in heterosexual relationships. You’re keen to explore, but you’re also anxious about the whole thing. Does that sound like you? In honour of Bisexuality Visibility Week, here are some pointers to help you navigate the terrain. Not you? Maybe still read on, so you can grasp our sexuality a small better.
So you’ve got an inkling you’re not totally straight, but how execute you know for sure?
“You may not
Do you remember your first time? Your first trial with another guy? Your first story with another gay guy?
It's that first moment of total pleasure when everything else disappears, and those weird “feelings” suddenly make complete meaning. Suddenly, everything falls into place: you're not a freak of nature or “different”, simply experiencing the simple joys that you were born to enjoy.
For most gay guys, our first gay experience is usually a moment of revelation and clarity that eventually leads to our own acceptance and the urge to tell the world. For others, it's a complete disaster that we prefer to forget… although one thing's for sure, you will never truly forget it!
In this post, we asked a few of our friends from around the society to share their first gay experience with us, whether it was a first-time gay kıss, their first gay love story, or something a bit more spicy(!)… and we've set it all out right here. You'll also want to check out our own love story of how we first met each other.
We'd like to know your story as well! Please experience free to add it in the comments section below. We also contribute more inspiri
From Hookups to Relationships: Gay Dating Advice to Shift Your Mindset
Hookup culture has become a prevalent aspect of the gay dating process. Both historical factors and the unique social dynamics of the queer community shape this. For many male lover men, casual encounters provide a way to link, explore sexuality, and satisfy emotional needs without too much pressure from a committed relationship. Yet, the reasons behind the popularity of hookups are complex and rooted in psychology, history and social development.
Historical and Social Roots of Hookup Culture among Homosexual Guys
Historically, gay people hold faced significant barriers to forming public relationships due to societal stigma and legal restrictions. Until relatively recently, many gay couples had to navigate relationships in secrecy. This created a culture where casual, discreet encounters were normalised, as they allowed men to explore their sexuality safely within an often hostile environment. The liberty to have casual sex without judgment became a form of personal expression.
Psychological Perspectives on Casual Encounters
Developmentally, many gay men yearn out on the standard adolescent experiences of dat
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